Feminist Myths and Taylor Swift

So what exactly IS a feminist?

I’m going to admit that I can’t give a short answer to this question.

Well I could, but then this blog post would be about two sentences long, and that wouldn’t be much of a read, so…

Traditionally, a feminist is a person who advocates “social, political and economic rights for women equal to those of men.” 

Pretty straight forward, right? 
Well, in a perfect world it would be, but the truth is; modern feminism means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. There are feminists who fight for their right to education, and those who fight for women without a voice. There are feminists infuriated by the wide exposure of sexual and submissive images of women. There are feminists who campaign for equal opportunities in the workplace. There are men who want their daughters to have the same bright futures as their sons. There are women who want to be able to wear shorts on a hot day without being cat-called. 

Every feminist has their own priorities, because we each have our own experiences of gender inequality. If someone can ‘identify’ as a feminist, then I suppose it’s fair to say that feminism is an identity, right? It’s pretty difficult to define an identity.

As such, I guess it’s also kind of difficult to discuss what feminism is “all about” - but what I’d really like to discuss is what it’s not about.

Misandry.

We all know that old tune, don’t we? The one that plays off feminists as loud, hairy, sexually frustrated, man-hating bigots? It also presumes that all feminists are women. It’s hard-going to feel like people are deliberately misunderstanding your views. A few months back, I read an article by Toula Foscolos that neatly summed up this feeling: “…as a woman, it’s exhausting to constantly point out the obvious sexism around you. It’s tiring to have to explain to people why you find such things offensive”. In the same vein, it’s depressing to see our efforts met with rebuttals like #INeedMasculismBecause – a campaign designed to “piss off some feminists”, because apparently these women “demand special treatment”. What’s really sad is that some men mistook the hash tag campaign for a serious discussion, and aired their own grievances very publicly. Many of these were personal issues relating to the unfair expectations and double standards imposed on men by patriarchal society. The campaign was incredibly petty and ultimately did damage both to men and the women it was initially aimed at.

What troubles me is that this perception of feminism as a war against men is a prevalent one. I see it validated everywhere. In an interview for The Daily Beast last October, the bubbly pop singer Taylor Swift briefly discussed her take on feminism:

“I don’t really think about things as guys versus girls. I never have. I was raised by parents who brought me up to think if you work as hard as guys, you can go far in life.”

Well, shit. 

Ok, of course Taylor Swift has the right to declare that she is not a feminist. That’s fine. But as a pretty 24 year old whose album sales have broken records, Taylor Swift is undeniably influential. She has millions of fans, many of them young and/or impressionable. Personally, I’m worried that these kids who idolize her will read her misinformed interpretation, and decide that being a feminist means hating your dad and brothers.

Feminism does not equal misandry.

Feminism, at base, is anti-misogyny and pro-equality. Beyond that, everyone is entitled to their own opinions on specific feminist causes. For example, my own Dad identifies as a feminist, but disagrees with the ‘Lose the Lads Mags’ campaign, as he feels that there are more urgent feminist causes. Cool, that’s his opinion (that’s not to say that I didn’t argue with him heatedly over it). My point is: my feminist father is not an angry, hairy, man-hating bigot.

(All right, he's a bit angry and hairy)

By the same token, my desire to see Lads’ Mags and Page 3 abolished does not make me a misandrist. 

Furthermore, it is entirely possible to enjoy your femininity and still be a feminist. 

It’s also possible to be a feminist and support men’s rights. 

I want to live in a society where men in abusive relationships can receive the same kind of support available to women. I want to see the custody of children awarded to the most suitable and responsible parent, and not just given to the mother without a second thought. I want ANYBODY who has been sexually abused or raped to be heard.

And at the same time, I want:

• To earn the same money as a man for doing the same job.
• To be able to wear a tank top in the sun without someone commenting on my breasts.
• To not be visually assaulted by normalized images of partially nude women everywhere I go.
• To not hear women labelled ‘sluts’ because they are openly sexual.
• For myself and other women to not have to live in constant fear of verbal or physical assault.
• The right to pursuing an education, a passion or a career to be afforded to everyone.

I don’t think this makes me man-hating bigot.