How "Feminism" Became a Dirty Word

I was inspired by this hilarious comic from Hark! A Vagrant. 

I love the term “Straw Feminist”. It perfectly articulates something that's always irritated me.

“Straw Feminism” refers to a perception of feminists that don’t actually exist. They’re exaggerated, vilified trope characters seen in terrible movies and TV. Unfortunately, it’s an insidious perception of feminism that has spilled over into the real world, inspiring ridiculous descriptions like “Feminazi”, which are then unjustly applied to anyone who has ever uttered the word “sexism”.

Straw Feminists are man-hating, bigoted and loud-mouthed. They are sexist. They see patriarchal injustice in literally everything. They use the word ‘rape’ to describe anything they see as a violation. They are women who genuinely believe that all men are underlings, and that the only way to put them in their place is to scream and shout about it.

I say these feminists don't exist because we cannot call these people/characters feminists.

They are so SO detrimental to the gender equality movement. They've turned it into something to scoff and roll your eyes at.

A common argument these days is that all feminists are of this breed. It's even been suggested that by identifying as feminists we are proving our misandry – that if we truly wanted equality for all, we would call ourselves ‘equalitarian’.

I disagree - it’s perfectly acceptable to narrow your battles down, to compartmentalize your goals. ‘Feminism’ doesn't have to be a dirty word. It means what it has always meant: “the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of the equality of the sexes.”

Feminist Myths and Taylor Swift

So what exactly IS a feminist?

I’m going to admit that I can’t give a short answer to this question.

Well I could, but then this blog post would be about two sentences long, and that wouldn’t be much of a read, so…

Traditionally, a feminist is a person who advocates “social, political and economic rights for women equal to those of men.” 

Pretty straight forward, right? 
Well, in a perfect world it would be, but the truth is; modern feminism means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. There are feminists who fight for their right to education, and those who fight for women without a voice. There are feminists infuriated by the wide exposure of sexual and submissive images of women. There are feminists who campaign for equal opportunities in the workplace. There are men who want their daughters to have the same bright futures as their sons. There are women who want to be able to wear shorts on a hot day without being cat-called. 

Every feminist has their own priorities, because we each have our own experiences of gender inequality. If someone can ‘identify’ as a feminist, then I suppose it’s fair to say that feminism is an identity, right? It’s pretty difficult to define an identity.

As such, I guess it’s also kind of difficult to discuss what feminism is “all about” - but what I’d really like to discuss is what it’s not about.

Misandry.

We all know that old tune, don’t we? The one that plays off feminists as loud, hairy, sexually frustrated, man-hating bigots? It also presumes that all feminists are women. It’s hard-going to feel like people are deliberately misunderstanding your views. A few months back, I read an article by Toula Foscolos that neatly summed up this feeling: “…as a woman, it’s exhausting to constantly point out the obvious sexism around you. It’s tiring to have to explain to people why you find such things offensive”. In the same vein, it’s depressing to see our efforts met with rebuttals like #INeedMasculismBecause – a campaign designed to “piss off some feminists”, because apparently these women “demand special treatment”. What’s really sad is that some men mistook the hash tag campaign for a serious discussion, and aired their own grievances very publicly. Many of these were personal issues relating to the unfair expectations and double standards imposed on men by patriarchal society. The campaign was incredibly petty and ultimately did damage both to men and the women it was initially aimed at.

What troubles me is that this perception of feminism as a war against men is a prevalent one. I see it validated everywhere. In an interview for The Daily Beast last October, the bubbly pop singer Taylor Swift briefly discussed her take on feminism:

“I don’t really think about things as guys versus girls. I never have. I was raised by parents who brought me up to think if you work as hard as guys, you can go far in life.”

Well, shit. 

Ok, of course Taylor Swift has the right to declare that she is not a feminist. That’s fine. But as a pretty 24 year old whose album sales have broken records, Taylor Swift is undeniably influential. She has millions of fans, many of them young and/or impressionable. Personally, I’m worried that these kids who idolize her will read her misinformed interpretation, and decide that being a feminist means hating your dad and brothers.

Feminism does not equal misandry.

Feminism, at base, is anti-misogyny and pro-equality. Beyond that, everyone is entitled to their own opinions on specific feminist causes. For example, my own Dad identifies as a feminist, but disagrees with the ‘Lose the Lads Mags’ campaign, as he feels that there are more urgent feminist causes. Cool, that’s his opinion (that’s not to say that I didn’t argue with him heatedly over it). My point is: my feminist father is not an angry, hairy, man-hating bigot.

(All right, he's a bit angry and hairy)

By the same token, my desire to see Lads’ Mags and Page 3 abolished does not make me a misandrist. 

Furthermore, it is entirely possible to enjoy your femininity and still be a feminist. 

It’s also possible to be a feminist and support men’s rights. 

I want to live in a society where men in abusive relationships can receive the same kind of support available to women. I want to see the custody of children awarded to the most suitable and responsible parent, and not just given to the mother without a second thought. I want ANYBODY who has been sexually abused or raped to be heard.

And at the same time, I want:

• To earn the same money as a man for doing the same job.
• To be able to wear a tank top in the sun without someone commenting on my breasts.
• To not be visually assaulted by normalized images of partially nude women everywhere I go.
• To not hear women labelled ‘sluts’ because they are openly sexual.
• For myself and other women to not have to live in constant fear of verbal or physical assault.
• The right to pursuing an education, a passion or a career to be afforded to everyone.

I don’t think this makes me man-hating bigot.

Brian & Aoife's Misadventures: The Diablo

A little while ago, Brian and I went to a food festival and picked up a little device that we’ve since become a bit obsessed with. We were first introduced to the Diablo by a crafty salesman who more or less performed a live infomercial, and even cooked us up some mini calzones as a taster – I was immediately hooked, much to B’s disapproval.

The Diablo is essentially a stove top sandwich toaster that will seal any filling between two slices of bread, leaving you with neatly toasted little sandwich-pies. To my bitter disappointment, my new friend the salesman had lied about one thing: there are no recipes or serving suggestions to be found online whatsoever. But I was still pretty impressed, and after a week or so of delicious poached egg and cheddar toasties, B and I started to get a little adventurous. After a couple of hit-and-misses (including a melting, under-cooked monstrosity consisting of baked beans, eggs and cheese) we were finally struck by inspiration.

Dedicated readers Obligated friends and family, I present for your reading pleasure my first ever recipe blog post.

Diablo Winter Pies

1) Soften carrots, peas and onions in a bit of butter and garlic.

2) In a separate pot, take some minced beef (tossed in flour and salt), throw in some chopped streaky bacon and brown together with a little vegetable oil.

3) Add rosemary, salt, pepper and more flour to the browned meat.

4) Add the softened veg to the mix.

5) Add some thick beef stock to the filling, and crumble one dry beef OXO cube into the pot. Stir well to avoid eye-watering pockets of flavour.

6) Cut two squares of pre-rolled puff pastry (or homemade if you’re feeling fancy) to cover each side of the Diablo, and press the pastry gently into the plates.

7) Spoon a heap of pie filling into one side of the Diablo. Close the plates together and trim away the excess dough.

8) To seal the pie, place the Diablo over a medium heat for one minute on each side. The pastry may begin to expand alarmingly and spill over the edges – which is fine. Just make sure to trim away the excess once again when you’ve removed it from the stove top.

9) Carefully tip the sealed pie onto a greased baking tray, and put it in the oven at 180c for roughly 20 minutes.

10) Serve the pies when golden brown and thoroughly puffed. Delicious creamy garlic potatoes: optional.

Remember Meg Cabot?

Holy Monk on a Motorbike, Meg Cabot was the shit. How could I forget about her? I feel oddly guilty.

So allow me to explain why I’m always broke:

1. I'm 22.
2. Amazon has really perfected the art of recommendation.

Usually my love of YA lit would have me bombarded with books about mysterious teenage were-fairies or whatever. But recently, Amazon’s been going for a kind of throwback vibe. It all began when I picked up Kendare Blake’s Anna Dressed in Blood. It was a pretty good read, but I found it really reminiscent of…something. Some YA series I had read and loved. I couldn’t figure out what book it reminded me of, and that nagged at me for days. Eventually I took it to Google, and after several edits of my search terms, I finally found it:

The Mediator by Meg Cabot.

Meg. Cabot.

Why did forgetting about my one-time favourite author make me feel so guilty, you might ask? Because, Meg Cabot was one of a handful of authors who inspired my young feminist self with her kick-ass teen-aged heroines. I didn't know it at the time; I didn't even know I was a feminist, really.

Meg eased me in with her breakout series; The Princess Diaries. Mia Thermopolis was awkward and different, and she was a princess.

I was awkward! I wanted to be a princess!

10 year-old me was hooked.

Pretty soon I was reading every Meg Cabot book I could get my hands on. Next up was The Mediator, and then All American Girl, and then my personal favourite; Avalon High.

Meg’s characters were my fictional role models. They were independent and clever and motivated. They all had such a strong sense of their own morals, and they were entirely the heroes of their own stories. Not to mention; they were consistently sarcastic, which to a pre-teen is the epitome of 'cool'. Best of all, her heroines became stronger and livelier with each new release.

Mia Thermopolis

"I am the princess of Genovia. I am the newly elected head of the AEHS student council. And NO ONE – not even Michael – is going to tell me when to Do It."

In The Princess Diaries, Amelia ‘Mia’ Thermopolis, a fourteen year old “nobody” finds out that she is heir to the Genovian throne. Mia can barely get the pretty head cheerleader Lana Weinberger to stop picking on her for five minutes – how can she be expected to rule a country?

But rather than morphing into a 1950's Disney character, Mia finds herself empowered by the tiara thrust upon her head. Over the next four years (and ten books), we see her lead the student council, befriend the outcasts, defend the meek, stand up to bullies and grow into a passionate and ambitious young woman.

Sam Madison

“I mean, instead of sitting in the White House press office for three hours after school every Wednesday, or attending International Festival of the Child concerts, I could have been out there alerting the public to the fact that in some countries, it is still perfectly legal for men to take teen brides -- even multiple teen brides! What was that all about?”

Samantha ‘Sam’ Madison is the charmingly defiant and artistic protagonist of All-American Girl. She spends her days dying her entre wardrobe black and sketching commissioned portraits of celebrities in her German notebook. But in a chance encounter outside an Art studio, Sam saves the life of the US President – and is quickly labelled a ‘hero’.

The best thing about Sam is that she refuses to conform to the common perception of what a hero should be. Sam is glad to have saved her country’s leader – but she won’t compromise who she is for him. Throughout the book and its sequel, Samantha stands up for what she believes in. When she’s asked to be the Teen Ambassador to the UN, she plans to use her position to inspire her generation. When she’s asked to endorse the President’s ‘Back to Family’ bill – a cause she doesn’t agree with – she is blunt and honest when interviewed about it, even though her views may be unpopular. Sam is a hero – just not the kind of hero anyone expected her to be.

Ellie Harrison

“He was supposed to be this great innovative thinker who wouldn’t do things the way people told him they had to be done, because that’s the way they’d always been done. If Will really is Arthur—and I’m not saying he is, because I think this whole thing is wack—would he really just sit back and say, ‘Oh, well, I can’t change this, because no one’s ever done it before,’ and just leave you to die? No, he wouldn’t. And you know what, Mr. Morton? I’m not going to, either.”

Elaine ‘Ellie’ Harrison is the new kid at Avalon High, where her blossoming social life begins to draw major parallels with Arthurian Legend. It quickly becomes apparent that her insta-crush Will and his friends might just be King Arthur and his court reborn. When “the forces of evil” threaten to destroy an unsuspecting Will, Ellie finds that she plays a much bigger part in the legend than anyone imagined.

Ellie is athletic, and laidback (her favourite past time is floating), and unfalteringly compassionate. In the end, she is not the ‘hero’ of the story in the most traditional sense – Will is King Arthur incarnate. But Ellie is The Lady of the Lake. She is his saviour, his rock, and to quote blogger Erin Callahan, the “Smart Girl Who Figures It Out and Saves The World By Not Backing Down.” Ultimately, she played the most important part in the story.

I’m so excited to have re-discovered Meg Cabot - she’s inspiring me all over again! As someone who writes YA fiction, my greatest aspiration is to move my young audience in the way that Meg moved me. I know she never really went away, and I know plenty of people read her newer stuff, but to me - re-reading all the books I loved as a kid - this is her grand comeback.

“I don’t know where these people have been, but princesses have been rescuing themselves in fiction for quite some time now.”

                                 -  Meg Cabot

Women Online

As we all spend so much of our time online these days, it’s hard not to get caught up in the sense of community built by most social networking sites. You’ve got all your friends on Facebook, you’ve got your favourite blogs bookmarked, you follow people on Twitter who intrigue and inspire you. And then on top of that, you might have a favourite social news site like Reddit or StumbleUpon that is updated and frequented by people just like you.

The internet is all about community - and it’s pretty hard to swallow when your community turns against you.

I imagine that’s how Anita Sarkeesian felt when her online feminist commentary was met by a wave of vicious opposition and harassment just last year. On May 17^th 2012, Sarkeesian launched a Kickstarter campaign to fund a web series that explored female cultural tropes. The answering campaign was, quite simply, disgusting.

In response to her request for sponsorship, brave Keyboard Warriors photoshopped images of the activist to portray her being raped by video game characters. An online flash game was created, where players could beat up Sarkeesian’s avatar, bruising and battering her until she eventually bled out on screen. Her Wikipedia page was frequently edited to display graphic sexual images. People tried to access and share her personal contact information, and congratulated each other on their successful harassment of the young feminist.

Gameplay from the 'Beat Up Anita Sarkeesian' flash game

But Sarkeesian responded with such grace and dignity that the abusive campaign, designed to stop her from receiving any funding, completely backfired. Sarkeesian posted details of the abuse to her blog, where fans, feminists, and general decent human beings were so outraged that they succeeded in raising $150,000 to help Anita speak out to a broader audience.

Anita Sarkeesian’s horrific ordeal may have ended triumphantly, but it is a very real (if extreme) example of how women are often received in online communities. And not every hateful comment or campaign is resolved with such success.

While the Anita Sarkeesian campaign began on Kickstarter, which is by nature highly publicised, there are of course the more personal sites such as Facebook and Twitter, where the harassment against any part of a community is often much more harsh, and much more harmful. Less than two weeks ago, 17-year-old Jinan Younis wrote an eloquent and thought-provoking piece for The Guardian newspaper entitled “What happened when I started a feminist society at school”. I almost knew what had happened before I read it. I knew that Younis was not writing about the overwhelming support that her feminist efforts had received from her teachers and peers. Isn’t that sad? That I would see that title and immediately assume the worst?

As it turns out, I was right. In the article, posted 20^th June, Younis recalls the uproar that followed after her feminist society posted the below image to Facebook.

Young students take part in the 'Who Needs Feminism' campaign

“We were told that our "militant vaginas" were "as dry as the Sahara desert", girls who complained of sexual objectification in their photos were given ratings out of 10, details of the sex lives of some of the girls were posted beside their photos, and others were sent threatening messages warning them that things would soon "get personal".”

These are girls aged 16-18, whose attempts to create for themselves an equal, supportive community was met with a landslide of abuse and derision. Sixteen year-old children were attacked and humiliated, openly objectified and threatened. So what did the faculty do to punish the bullies?

Absolutely nothing. 

There were no repercussions for the boys, and the girls were instructed to remove the images from Facebook. When confronted about their handling of the situation, the school maintained that they are “committed to protecting the safety and welfare of [their] students, which extends to their online safety.”

What’s really disturbing is that this aggressive attitude towards women isn’t even that uncommon on Facebook. The global social networking service has recently come under scrutiny due to its failure to appropriately deal with the vast amount of misogynistic content on the site. This includes 'fan' pages with titles like “Drop-kicking sluts in the teeth”, “Kicking your girlfriend violently in the fanny because she won’t make you a sandwich” and “Violently raping your friend for fun.” Many of these pages have thousands of ‘likes’ and have remained on the network for years. There have actually been petitions to delete them, because simply asking Facebook to remove horrific hate speech from their site initially did not get results.

Other examples of misogyny from the Facebook community include “titillating” pages with images of naked women, and celebrities in skimpy clothing. This kind of pornographic content has often been allowed to remain on the social network for extended periods of time. Meanwhile, Facebook concerned themselves with removing pictures of mothers breastfeeding their babies. An example of this bizarre double-standard is the once popular page titled “Bra Busters” – but this particular example does come with a fist-pumping tale of feminist victory. As told by The Daily Dot back in May, ‘Bra Busters’ fell apart when six feminists gained control of the page and replaced all of the sexual and misogynistic content with Feminist memes and Virginia Woolf quotes.

Because almost all of us have a significant online presence, our interactions on the web are very telling of our general attitudes. It is, therefore, extremely disheartening to see women verbally abused and harassed so frequently and determinedly. As the web becomes the dominant form of communication, it’s becoming even more important for us to create safe and supportive communities, not just for women, but for everyone.

We’re not quite there yet, but here are some of my favourite female-friendly online communities, and individuals who are proudly paving the way:

www.youmeandcharlie.com

Founded by actress Dianna Agron, You, Me & Charlie posts emphasise whimsy and self-confidence for all.

www.hellogiggles.com

HelloGiggles was co-founded by Zooey Deschanel, so you can expect plenty of upbeat posts promoting compassion and confidence.

www.betcheslovethis.com

Betches Love This is a tongue-in-cheek social news site presenting ‘Betch Culture’ as the female answer to ‘Lad Culture’. While I wouldn’t exactly call it a feminist site, it is written by some funny betches.

www.xojane.com

XOJane, founded by Jane Pratt, is a women’s lifestyle site that offers opinionated and uplifting articles.

www.galadarling.com

Gala Darling is a self-help blogger who promotes ‘Radical Self-Love’ and sequins galore.

www.jezebel.com

This social news site advertises as “Celebrity, Sex, Fashion for Women. Without the airbrushing.” ‘Nuff said, really.

Lads' Mags and Sexual Harassment

Feminist protesters maintain that these magazines de-humanize women

There have recently been sexual harassment claims made against newsagents that display ‘Lad’s Mags’ amongst their publications. There have been some strong reactions to this, and I have to say that the surrounding debates have left me pretty perplexed and a little frustrated.

A Lad’s Mag is men’s lifestyle magazine that usually includes a high volume of pictures of nude or scantily clad young women. They are generally characterized by a naked woman on the front cover. Some time ago, someone decided it was inappropriate to have these magazines with their “adult” covers in view of children –

'Nuts' displayed right above the kid's magazine 'Girl Talk'

So they were moved to the top shelf. Now if you walk in to a British or Irish newsagent and glance up at the top shelf of the magazine rails, you will undoubtedly be greeted by a row of naked girls, ready and waiting for you to purchase.

Personally, I think it’s understandable that people are offended by these displays, but there are many who disagree. There are also many who have been angered by the claims, and believe them to be weak and unfounded.

Here are some of the main opposing arguments, and my own opinions as to how they skid right on past the point:

Ø  "The women in these magazines are models. They are not being forced into selling themselves; it is their chosen profession."

Well sure – nobody is claiming that Lad’s Mags are on a par with prostitution. But here’s the thing; it’s not about the models, it’s about our society and our perceptions. Glamour models, like all women, have a right to do whatever the hell they like with and to their bodies. But personally, I have a problem with taking my 6 year old niece to the shop, and having to hope she doesn’t want to browse the magazines. If she does, what she’ll see are a row of naked women on display, lined up in compromising poses to be sold and objectified. It’s an image that will resonate with her, as it has with generations before her, including my own.

Why?

Because we see it everywhere.

For example; why does no one blink an eye if a perfume advert displays a woman tangled up in bed sheets, apparently post-coitus? How does that advertise perfume?

In our society, sex undeniably sells.

So no, these glamour models aren’t selling themselves. Lad’s Mags sell women’s bodies. It’s creepy, and I find it offensive.

Ø  "Women’s magazines are also harmful to body image, but nobody is fighting to get rid of them!"

Women’s magazines affect collective body image in a different way than Lad Mags do. They are not comparable, and pretending that they are is utter horseshit.

A woman’s magazine might present their white, ribbon slim, shiny haired cover girl as a beauty ideal, and that is unquestionably problematic.

Is it damaging to women’s self-esteem?

Yes.

Is it an unfair representation of women?

Yes.

Does it present the insidious idea that women can be purchased for the sole purpose of creating a man’s erection?

No.

It is an issue, but it is a separate issue.

Ø  "What about the objectification of men in the media?"

One of my main worries about the objectifying and fetishizing of women in advertising and entertainment is that I strongly believe it bleeds into the culture of sexual assault and harassment in every society. A man who sees naked women everywhere might see a fully clothed woman walking down the street, and feel perfectly comfortable shouting lewd comments on her. He has no right to look at her body that way, and even less right to comment on it. And sadly, there is a minority of men who would take this kind of harassment even further.

I’m not saying men are never the victims of sexual assault. They most certainly are, and it is terrible and sad when anyone is violated in that way.

What I am saying is that if you are worried about the representation of men in the media – do something about it. Campaign to have images of oiled up, half-naked men removed from magazines and advertisements. Don’t shit all over the claimants for objecting to a practise that they find offensive.

It’s petty and lazy.

Now, I've come across one argument that I think is actually clever and inoffensive. Surprisingly, the argument comes from Catherine Scott, a feminist and writer who believes that "banning lads mags would patronize women". In an article written for the Telegraph, Scott writes:

"As feminists we cannot have it both ways: either we credit men with the ability to think for themselves and reject sexism, or we consign them to a fate of being so moronic and malleable that glossy magazines must inevitably drive them to sexual violence."

While I do see where Scott is coming from, and while I often worry that this is how feminists are seen by many (ie. as angry man-hating bigots), I still disagree with her. She also mentions in her article that there have been studies that negate a link between pornography and violence. The thing is, I don't think that seeing naked or sexually compromised women incites harrassment. I think that being so bombarded with sexual imagery of women is what brings people (not just men, everybody) around to the idea that our main function is to be sexually objectified.

I absolutely think that Lad’s Mags should be banned from newsagents. It freaks me out that they, along with the mind-blowingly misogynistic Page 3, have become so normalized. They are materials for personal sexual gratification, and they should remain personal. 

There’s a reason you can’t buy dildos in a supermarket.

Why Everyone Still Loves The Breakfast Club

Can you technically be nostalgic about something that happened before your time?

Whatever.

Anyone who has so much as heard of The Breakfast Club will understand that the film is iconic. John Hughes most popular high school drama was released in 1985, but the movie still manages to be culturally relevant almost 30 years on.

It’s still referenced constantly.

The Judd Nelson Fist Pump in Easy A

The Dead Breakfast Club in American Horror Story

Using The Brat Pack's dance moves in Community

Another Judd Nelson Fist Pump, this time from Pitch Perfect

Everyone wants to be Judd Nelson, as evidenced by the HIMYM cast

Its prominence and loyal following come down to the fact that The Breakfast Club transcends both its era and its target audience. Most movies about teen angst are scoffed at by everyone but angsty teens. Breakfast Club isn’t your usual high school soap opera about the cool kids being mean to the awkward kids – at base, it’s a film about social- and self-discovery.

Hughes youth-fronted exploration of the self-discovery theme is accessible to all age groups. The teenage characters that propel the story along are loved for two reasons:

First, there is something vulnerable about a person on the confusing brink of adulthood. This is something that Breakfast Club fans either currently understand, or distinctly remember. That vulnerability and youth allows the characters to open up to their peers more readily than older characters might – they’re actively looking for a chance to vent.

Secondly, Hughes portrayal of kids is a lot more honest and realistic than what we see in many other teen movies. This means they are a LOT less annoying than say Troy Bolton of High School Musical, or Torrance Shipman of Bring It On. It also means we take them more seriously.

Take Troy, a basketball star who faces an inordinate amount of opposition when he wants to audition for the school musical. We don’t believe that he could somehow convince his previously appalled teammates to dance and cheer him on at his audition. But in the Breakfast Club, the characters are much more realistic. There’s a fantastic, tense moment when Brian ‘The Brain’ asks Claire ‘The Princess’ if she thinks they’ll stay friends after that day. She admits that she and Andrew ‘The Athlete’ wouldn’t be caught dead talking to the rest of the club in front of their popular friends. And the thing is, at the end of the movie we know that it’s true. They all go their separate ways, and we know that even if they’ve changed each other’s perceptions, they are just five students out of the entire student body.

That doesn’t change the message of the movie – it doesn’t need a shiny Disney ending to be uplifting. Possibly the most iconic part of the entire movie is the final scene, when the club have left detention and said their goodbyes. Bender ‘The Criminal’ strides across the football field and pumps one fist in the air victoriously. It’s a gesture that can be construed in many different ways. In Easy A, Emma Stone’s character suggests that it’s Bender’s gesture of glee at the knowledge that he got to kiss Claire, “just once”. I think it’s partially about Claire, but it’s also an expression of overwhelming excitement and optimism from the most cynical character in the movie. Something important happened to them all in that library and Bender knows that no matter what else happens they’ve all changed.

FuckYeahJuddNelson

Avid fans of the movie have defended the flawless original thus far – but in our current culture of remakes and adaptations, nothing is sacred. I think there’s a good chance we’ll be faced with a remake eventually, and as much as  love John Hughes Brat Pack original, I don’t think a remake would be awful. Granted it would have to be set in the 80’s, or else it’d just be five kids web surfing on their phones for two hours. But because the story and the characters transcend, I think there are a lot of actors and actresses that could make a fantastic Breakfast Club 2.0. Here’s a quick look at some stars who could be up to the task:

Bender (The Criminal)

Judd Nelson as Bender

The sardonic yet irresistible badass of the club. It’d be insanely easy to find a young actor who can play ‘cocky’, but anyone stepping into Judd Nelson’s mismatched shoes would need to embody that intense sense of injustice behind the sarcasm.

Robert Sheehan

We already know from his time as Nathan in ‘Misfits’ that he can pull off the mocking and deflective attitude Bender exudes. Like Bender, Nathan had a tempestuous relationship with his parents. Like Bender, Nathan hid behind his wit, and took all his anger out sardonically on his peers. Now all Robert Sheehan needs is an American accent.

Dave Franco

James Franco’s pretty younger brother. After starring in later series of Scrubs, and 2012’s 21 Jump Street, Dave has certainly proved himself as a comedy actor. Both Franco brothers also have this brooding/kind of stoned look about them that would definitely work for Bender.

Allison (The Basket Case)

Ally Sheedy as Allison

The club’s quiet oddball. The actress playing Allison would need to strike a balance between intense and comedic.  Allison is a compulsive liar and by far the most mysterious of the group, but it does eventually come to light that she is extremely troubled and painfully self-aware.

Jennifer Lawrence

Jennifer Lawrence is one of my favourite actresses at the moment. From her role in Silver Linings Playbook as the unhinged Tiffany, it’s clear that she can play the disturbed and vulnerable side of Allison. And from her everyday escapades, we know that she’s awesome.

Chloe Moretz

Chloe Moretz is possibly a little better suited in terms of age. She's proved herself time and time again, most notably in films such as Let Me In, Hugo and Hick. However, she is perhaps most well known for her controversial but hilarious role as Hit Girl in Kick Ass.

…So we know that she can play ‘demented’ relatively well.

Brian (The Brain)

Anthony Michael Hall as Brian

The shy and withdrawn over-achiever of the group. Brian’s ‘nerdy’ act provides some punch lines throughout the movie, but he is possibly the most openly vulnerable of the five. Unless I’m mistaken, he’s the first to cry during the group’s emotional sharing scene, and certainly the only one to have considered suicide.

Danny Pudi

It’s never actually specified whether Brian is younger than the rest of the group, though he certainly looks it. In any case, Danny Pudi, aged 34 and married with two kids, is possibly just that little bit too old for the role. But he is one of the best comedy actors on television, and can totally portray the same goofy naivety that Anthony Michael Hall brought to Brian. Also, he could definitely pass for maybe 18, right?

…Fine.

Jonah Bobo

I’ll admit that I’ve only seen him in one film so far; Crazy Stupid Love, in which he played Steve Carrel’s adorably love sick young son. But I really enjoyed his performance, and I always think it’s really promising when an actor is so entertaining at a young age – imagine how his talent might have improved now, a few years on. Jonah’s CV also boasts a short appearance on 30 Rock, which is more than enough to convince me. He’s definitely got the goofiness, the youth and comedy that Anthony Michael Hall brought to the role. As with the other characters, he’ll also need to bring a sense of vulnerability.

Claire (The Princess)

Molly Ringwald as Claire

The most popular girl in the school: worshipped by all and spoiled by her rich and powerful daddy. Everyone knows a girl like Claire – or at least thinks they do. Claire is a little less naïve than some of the other members; she knows what she is and owns up to it. She also knows that because of her status and her father’s wealth, she can do whatever the hell she likes with relatively few repercussions. This seems to embarrass and thrill her in equal parts.

Emma Watson

So as we all know, Emma Watson is breaking away from her Hermione Watson image with a slew of American films, most notably The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Perks, in my opinion, has the potential to transcend in the same way that Breakfast Club has. It could effectively become the Breakfast Club of this generation. If not because it was engaging, well-acted and affecting, then at least because the book it’s based on is already a cult classic. I also think that Emma could easily exude that same sort of untouchable air that Molly Ringwald attached to Claire.

Ashley Benson

As one of the stars of ABC’s Pretty Little Liars, Ashley Benson is well used to high school dramas. Even though I love her awkward-turned-popular character in Liars (which up until now was a secret guilty pleasure), I would never have considered her for a comedy film until I saw this video. Clearly the girl has no qualms about laughing at herself. I also think that having played the secretly insecure Queen Bee for roughly three years, she’d adapt to the role of Claire pretty well.

Andrew (The Athlete)

Emilio Estevez as Andrew

The seemingly vacuous jock of the group. Like Claire, he’d be considered one of ‘popular’ kids. As is expected of the token jock, his detention was a result of bullying one of the quiet kids. But it soon becomes apparent that Andrew is more compliant than he is vacuous or mean; as Allison points out in one scene, he will always do what he is expected to do. Andrew later reveals that he bullied a kid in the locker room to impress his dad, who had seemed disappointed that his son wasn’t behaving like the stereotypical jock that he himself had been in his youth. Put simply, he is, at base, a nice boy who cares desperately what other people think of him.

Donald Glover

I have another Community casting suggestion. I really like the idea of Donald Glover playing Andrew; on Community, he plays the shallow jock archetype, who once again turns out to be a different person than expected. Early on in the series, Donald’s character is asked if he misses playing high school football, and responds: “I miss knowing what to think.” That line in itself is what Andrew is all about.

Josh Hutcherson

There’s something about both Josh Hutcherson and Emilio Estevez that’s just nice. They seem like the kind of boys who are nice to their little sisters and help wizened little old men to cross the street. In The Hunger Games, Josh plays Peeta, a character who always does what is expected of him to win the approval of audiences. Hutcherson also just has that distinct American jock look about him.

Richard Vernon

Paul Gleason as Dick

Dick is, quite simply, a dick. But you love to hate him, and he’s one of the funniest characters in the film.

Bryan Cranston

I’m not going to give a second suggestion, nor am I going to explain any further than this; it’s Bryan Cranston.